Related:

• You know Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me.
  She said, "Homer, you're a big disappointment", and God bless her soul, she was really onto something....
• Lisa: Dad, Mom said she'd be home to help me with my costume and she's not, and the geography pageant is tonight!
  Homer: Lisa, your mom still loves you. It's just that she has a career now....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Moe: You know what really aggravazes me? It's them immigants.
  They wants all the benefits of living in Springfield, but they ain't even bother to learn themselves the language....
• Homer: Are you sure that's enough? You know how the boss loves your delicious gelatin desserts!
  Marge: Oh Homer, Mr. Burns just said he liked it....
• Receptionist: Will you be paying by cash or check?
  Homer: Cash of course! I've got two hundred and fifty dollars right here with me....
• Marge: I'm happy for the school. It sounds like this money's going to provide a lot of new opportunities.
  Bart: Big deal. They didn't approve my idea; they said it was unfeasible....
• Tonight, when we were eating dinner, Marta said something that really knocked me for a loop.
  She said, "I love carrots." "Good," I said as I gritted my teeth real hard....
• Homer: Lisa, you like homework. Could you fill out this form for me?
  Lisa: Well, all right. If you'll listen to the poem I just wrote....