I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live
around here often?" She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks."
I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness."
She said, "How do you feel?" And I said, "You know when you're sitting on a
chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so
you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like
that all the time..."
-- Steven Wright, "Gentlemen's Quarterly"
around here often?" She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks."
I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness."
She said, "How do you feel?" And I said, "You know when you're sitting on a
chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so
you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like
that all the time..."
-- Steven Wright, "Gentlemen's Quarterly"
Related:
- I went into this bar and sat down next to a pretty girl.
She looked at me and said, "Hey, you have two different colored socks on.... - Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far that
you almost fall over backwards, but at the last instant you catch yourself?
That's how I feel all the time. -- Steven Wrigh... - You know that feeling you get when you are tipping your chair back and you
almost go crashing back on the floor but you just catch yourself?
I feel like that all the time. -- Stephen Wrigh... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?... - I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
.. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?... - I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how.... - I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit
here is 50 miles per hour?
'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'. -- Stephen Wrigh... - One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in
the door of my apartment building.
.. I turned it... and the whole building started up.... - Climbing onto a bar stool, a piece of string asked for a beer.
"Wait a minute. Aren't you a string?" "Well, yes, I am....

