Related:

• This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there.
  .. (Long silence...) BEEP -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy.
  You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions....
• In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife. (Heeeeee-YAH!
  Sound of smashing box of kleenex.) But this method doesn't work with a telephone call....
• This is Anthony. Leave me a message at the beep. (beep) Whoops, I bet you couldn't hear that.
  Lemme try again. (Beep) Nuts, once more with feeling....
• Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it!
  Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!...
• Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life.
  After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative message....
• And here's a way to befuddle the *callee* rather than the calle
  Record someone's answering machine message as you hear it, and then play it back to them as your message to them....
• I'm writing the definitive work on pain. I would like you to tell me how this machine makes you feel.
  Remember, be honest. This is for posterity....
• I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine?
  Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't really exist....