Related:

• How many members of the England cricket team -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Four. One to change it after 85 overs, one to throw him the new one, one to drop it, and one to get caught rubbing something out of his pocket into it....
• How many classical music singers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None - "Impossible. The altitude may put unnecessary strain on my vocal chords....
• How many real women -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None: A real woman would have plenty of real men around to do it, and one of them can change the bulb while he's at it....
• How many VMM members -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Note: VMM=Vegetarian Matchmakers, a singles group where nobody ever puts their foot down and demands that anyone should do anything....
• How many boarding school students -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None, they have their parents do it for them....
• How many undertakers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None. They just paint them black and go on using them....
• How many software vendors -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None: You have to do it yourself, pay them $99 for the privilege, and re-wire your sockets to suit the new bulb....
• How many pawnbrokers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None. It's of no interest to them....
• How many scientists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None. They use them as controls in double blind trials....