Do you know where I can get any shit?" --Lenny Bruce,

Related:

• Shit Happens' according to... Lawyer: For a sufficient fee,
  I can get you out of ANY shit...
• I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means.
  Get even with your old lady. -- Lenny...
• You can't get snot off of a suede jacket.
  Lenny...
• I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.
  Lenny...
• Never tell. Not if you love your wife.... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you,
  deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it...
• Never tell. Not if you love your wife ... In fact,
  if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. ...
• What do they call a comedian who doesn't get any laughs?
  A philosopher. -- Phil...
• The liberal says to you, "I'm so understanding, I can't understand anyone not understanding me,
  as understanding as I am." -- Lenny...
• I know
  Jack Shit...