Related:

• Shit Happens' according to... Lawyer: For a sufficient fee, I can get you out of ANY shit.
• I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even.
  That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady. -- Lenny Bruce...
• You can't get snot off of a suede jacket. Lenny Bruce
• I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.
  -- Lenny Bruce...
• Never tell. Not if you love your wife.... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it.
  Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya....
• Never tell. Not if you love your wife ... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it.
  Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya....
• What do they call a comedian who doesn't get any laughs? A philosopher. -- Phil Procto
• The liberal says to you, "I'm so understanding, I can't understand anyone not understanding me, as understanding as I am.
  -- Lenny Bruce...
• I know Jack Shit.