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• The President was shocked at finding that blacks were being killed so much more often.
  He asked Westmoreland why this was. Westmoreland replied,' Well sir, when an enemy mortor streaks towards our trenches, one of the men would yell 'In-coming!...
• Top Ten Rejected Summer Olympic Events 0. The Marge Schott-put 9.
  Hide the javelin 8. Tackle the French guy 7. Speed blinking 6....
• HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE TURNING REPUBLICAN (By Dave Barry) The Republicans have a high Beady-eyed
  elf-righteous, scary, borderline loon quotient, as evidenced by Phyllis Schlafly, Pat Robertson, and the entire state of Utah, etc....
• Taglines: WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHY, HOW What are you doing?
  !? The message is over,GO AWAY! What can you do for me?...
• This guy, see, was walkin' down the street sportin' two -- not one, but two -- black eye
  a coupla real shiners. He chanced upon his buddy walkin' th' other way and they stopped to talk....
• I used to live in Wyoming, in a small town called Frontier (well, actually a suburb of Frontier called Kemmerer.
  That is pronounced Kemer. No, ya gotta say it FASTER)....
• Old west... A bar... All of a sudden, the door opens with a kick, and a cowboy in black enters.
  .. Black hat, black foulard, black shirt, black trousers, black boots, black gloves, black belt, and a black pair of guns....
• One day, a guy comes into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want it to grow".
  So the doc says, "Here, take three of these a day," and gives the guy a bottle of pills....
• From the World's Best Aussie Jokes] Max Brown, a young father-to-be, was waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his wife was producing their first baby.
  As he paced the floor, a nurse popped her head round the door....