I was tired one night, so I went to a bar to have a few drinks. I tell ya'
I get no respect. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" When I said,
"Surprise me," he showed me a naked picture of my wife.
I get no respect. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" When I said,
"Surprise me," he showed me a naked picture of my wife.
Related:
- RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS
A girl phoned me the other day and said .
Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody... - A man walked into a bar and ordered two drinks. He downed the first one
and carefully poured the other into his hand.
The bartender looked at him strangely and asked if... - My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole
package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's... - Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I wanted to
be different,
so I called my dog "Sex." I found out that "Sex" ... - I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.
I get no respect - my doctor told me to have a few... - Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy".
I call mine Sex. Sex has been embarrassing to me... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!looking!funny .
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender,
"I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend... - Have One On Me!
A drunk walks into a bar full of customers and slurs to the bartender,
"Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour...
From the same category:
- One of my favorites had this very exciting scary music,
along with a kitten crying in the background, and... - John and Mary were lying in bed one night. John turns to Mary and says "Do
you know what's wrong with you?
Your tits are too small and your hole is too tight... - How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. But they're really only one... - A man went into a drug store and asked the clerk: "Do you
have cotton balls?" "No you idiot!",
said the clerk, "What do you think I am, a rag doll... - A newfie gets married one day. He goes home to his mother the next
day and declares that he's getting a divorce.
His mother asks him why and he says "she is a virgin"...
