Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call mine Sex. Sex has
been embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his license, I told
the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex; he said he would like one too.
Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "You don't understand. I have had Sex since I was 9 years old."
He said I must have been quite a kid. When I got married and went on my
honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my
wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place
was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The
clerk said, "Me too." One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the
competition began, the dog ran away and a contestant asked me why I was standing
there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He
told me that I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I
said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show-off. When my wife and I
separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your
Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told
him that after I was separated, Sex left me. He said "Me too." Last night, Sex
ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to
me and asked me, "What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning." I
said, "I am looking for Sex." My case comes up on Friday.
