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• Dirty Ernie got a duck for his birthday. He took it for walks every day and enjoyed having a pet.
  One day, Sleezy Suzy saw him walking the duck, and said, "Hey, I like your duck....
• One day Dirty Ernie is playing with his train set. The little train came around to the little station and stopped.
  So Ernie said, "All the people getting off the train, get off the fucking trai...
• Dirty Ernie had been picking up some bad language by hanging out at the construction site down the street.
  His mother was very upset by this and asked Ernie Senior to reprimand him....
• One day a grade school teacher asked her students what their parents did for a living.
  Tim," she said, "What does your mother do all day?...
• Not long after his marriage, Ernie Junior and his father, Dirty Ernie senior, met for lunch.
  Well son," asked Ernie senior, "How is married life treating you?...
• Dirty Ernie was sitting in school, in Oklahoma, on a reservation.
  It was the last day of school. The teacher said, "I will ask questions, and when you give me the right answer you can go home for the summer....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Paybacks Are a Bitch There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk pulling a wagon and dragging a flattened frog on a string behind i
  when he comes up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....