Related:

• THE LIFE OF A COMPUTER ANALYST (Long but VERY Funny!
  ) Monday ------ 8:05am User called to say they forgot password....
• Answering machines. Nowadays almost everyone has one, complete with a snappymessage of their own device.
  Wait for the beep and then read on. This is a short adaptation of Simon Butler-White's and Clive Archer's "could-be" phone messages released in Australian Cleo, August 1989....
• Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls.
  Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone....
• Odd that no-one mentioned the fun to be had with all the new and wonderful phone features available now.
  None of the below are truly destructive. Adjust gender as appropriate (women's lib be damned, I'm not going to type his/her, s/he every time)....
• From Sourcebook Magazine, Summer 1990, by Dan Gutma
  Would the invention of the telephone ever have gotten off the ground if Alexander Graham Bell's first call had gone ....
• GETTING RID OF TELEMARKETERS... ** If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
  ** If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problem...
• Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead.
  Wait for the beep....
• Here I sit, in a tizzy; all my favorite boards are busy
• Straight Out Of The Eighties... This will only make sense to those of us who had the dubious distinction of being children of the eighties, or listened to music on a regular basis.
  If you were "there", then you will understand.... I was working part time in a five and dime....