Related:

• I spent all my money on Bytes, Boards, and Baud
• I came here To shit and stink, But all I do Is sit and think.
• Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to shit and stink, But I come here to scratch my balls, And read the bullshit on the walls.
  .....
• Here's my favorite, for calling large offices and idiots-in-general
  "Hello, is this the person to whom I am speaking?...
• Here are some of my favorite jokes from the HBO special Jackie Mason On Broadway.
  Keep in mind that Jackie is a former rabbi. His father and two brothers are also rabbis....
• Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce.
  When it comes, I hope and pray, I don't blow my ass away....
• Here I sit Broken hearted Tried to shit But only farted
• I've set up my answering machine so that when anyone calls, they here a busy signal.
• Here's a joke my uncle told me: Through some cosmic fluke, Reagan, Thatcher, and Gorbachev all died on the same day.
  Off they went to the gates of Heaven. Peter, seeing that these were all VIPs, sent them straight off to the Almighty....