Odd That No-one Mentioned The Fun To Be Had With All The New And Wonderful Phone Features Available Now.

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Odd that no-one mentioned the fun to be had with all the new and
wonderful phone features available now. None of the below are truly
destructive. Adjust gender as appropriate (women's lib be damned, I'm not
going to type his/her, s/he every time). Switching these on/off from time
to time can drive people nuts trying to figure out what is going on.

1) If call forwarding is available at your company, forward the
victims calls to an "appropriate" number (Highly moral people get
dial-a-sex, bosses get dial-a-joke, boring people get time/weather,
flamboyant ones get dial-a-prayer, etc). Victim may go days without
figuring it out. Spouse may get interested in what's going o at office as
well. Forwarding to a VP makes for interesting reactions as well.

2) Variation on above is to get an answering machine, record an
imitation of victim's with outragous comments (busy right now with X-rated
move sound track going in background, inviting all callers out on dates,
denouncing whatever private beliefs they have, etc). Forward calls OR
splice into phone line so only happens on occasion.

3) If someone is silly enough to put call waiting onto a line used
for modems, call it EVERY time they use it. Vicitm will complain to phone
compnay about "line noise".

4) Reprogram all their speed calling to dial-a-sex, etc numbers
(as appropriate for victim). Love to watch the face of someone who thinks
he is calling his wife and a sexy girl comes on the line demanding a credit
card so she can "talk dirty" to him...

5) If victim is out of office for an extend period (week+), answer
his phone and say "Oh, Mark doesn't work here anymore. I think that the
company caught him stealing equipment/supplies/money; using drugs; sleeping
on the job; sexually harrassing the boss; etc."

6) If the phone system depends on * or # pound keys, reverse them.
Most confusing. Even better, rewire 0-9 as well! Interchange only 2 keys
for continuing wrong numbers.

7) Replace answering tape messages with something "more exiting".
Effects records make good backgrounds. Barmaids and dancers will often
help you out on this one as well.

8) Call victim's answering machine. Leave what sounds to be an
important message and, 3 digits into the phone number, end the message.

9) If the company tracks every phone call, have everyone in the
office make long distance calls from the victims phone whenever victim
leaves the room. You need a spotter to keep from getting caught at this
one. 900 numbers that charge 0.50 per call are good for this.

10) One of my favorites works best in large office buildings:
Stay late one night. Go through the building and forward EVERY phone to
victim's line. Be sure to do yours also to avoid being suspected.

11) If victim keeps phone numbers online and you have write access
to database, scramble the numbers (Be sure not to mess with medical or other
emergency numbers. You can't play as many pranks on dead/maimed victims).

12) Turn off bell on victims phone. On AT&T phones this requires
a bit of disassembly to implement but may be corrected by just adjusting
the volume (there is a stop to keep bell from going off but lifting a lever
permits the dial to rotate past the stop. Rotate back and no-one can tell
that it was done. This is a design feature of the phones).