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• You were so ugly as a kid that, on Halloween, your mother put peanut butter around your lips and sent you out as an asshole!
• You were so ugly as kid that on Halloween you're mother put peanut butter around your lips and sent you out as an asshole .
  .....
• You're so ugly, when you were born, the doctor turned you over and thought he had twins.
  "You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor spanked your mom." ==...
• You were so ugly when you were born, the doctor took one look at your face, turned you over and said, "Look .
  .. twins!...
• You were told not to feed me after midnight!
• You were told not to feed me after midnite!
• You are so ugly that if you sent your picture to the Lonely Hearts Club, they would be sent back with the explanation that they are lonely - not desperate.
• The little boy came down to breakfast. Since they lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores.
  Not yet" said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores....
• You know you are from a small town if... ** You can name everyone you graduated with.
  ** You know what 4-H is. ** You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road ** You used to drag "main....