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• You were so ugly when you were born, the doctor took one look at your face, turned you over and said, "Look .
  .. twins!...
• You were so ugly as a kid that your mother had to feed you with a sling shot ...
• RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS A girl phoned me the other day and said .
  ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over....
• You were so ugly as a kid that, on Halloween, your mother put peanut butter around your lips and sent you out as an asshole!
• You were so ugly as kid that on Halloween you're mother put peanut butter around your lips and sent you out as an asshole .
  .....
• What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!
  Two plastic surgeons are talking about their recent operations, and one mentions that he grafted tits onto a sailor's back sometime ago....
• A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and tried striking up a conversation .
  .. "Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies....
• How do you tell someone that they are really ugly? You are so ugly the tide won't go out with you.
• A woman goes to a doctor with a problem. She's sat on the chair next to the doctor, and she's very hesitant about describing her problem.
  Eventually the doctor manages to discover that she thinks she may be sexually perverted....