Related:

• How do you get an Irishman to burn his ear? Ring him up while he's ironing.
• Rub him out... One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him.
  The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, "How sure are ya that she is gonna kill ya?...
• Blondness strikes again... An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
  They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage!...
• Little Johnny was sitting in the courtyard turning a bottle of liquid back and forth, watching the bubbles.
  The Priest walked up and asked him what he was doing?...
• Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy".
  I call mine Sex. Sex has been embarrassing to me....
• John and Mike entered the Boston Marathon. After they'd been running for awhile, they were passed by another runner.
  I know that guy," John said, "That's Bill Rodgers - he won the race a couple of years ago....
• Harold suspected his wife of playing around on the side, so one day he took the afternoon off and comes home extra early.
  He entered his apartment, which was on the 3rd floor, and started looking around....
• Anything? A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered.
  She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her....
• Dumb & Dumber ** A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
  A woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants....