Related:

• Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
• Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
• Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
• Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza.
  Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza....
• I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it well.
• Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred.
• Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this!
  You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?...
• Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
• Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.