Elf Pet Peeves
10. After too much egg nog, Mrs. Claus is "all hands".
9. Ever since they hit the big time, those dang Keebler Elves act
like we don't exist.
8. Santa keeps asking, "Does this suit make me look fat?"
7. That idiot Blitzen always mistaking you for a chew toy.
6. You're enjoying the jacuzzi, and Santa gets in naked.
5. Now have to work through coffee breaks thanks to the McCaughey
septuplets.
4. It's at least a thousand miles from North Pole to nearest
strip club.
3. Next to "race" on the census forms, there's never a box
marked "elf".
2. Hookers who laugh when you take your pants off.
1. Health plan doesn't cover sleigh rash.
MERCURY COMMUNICATIONS GROUP, INC.
10. After too much egg nog, Mrs. Claus is "all hands".
9. Ever since they hit the big time, those dang Keebler Elves act
like we don't exist.
8. Santa keeps asking, "Does this suit make me look fat?"
7. That idiot Blitzen always mistaking you for a chew toy.
6. You're enjoying the jacuzzi, and Santa gets in naked.
5. Now have to work through coffee breaks thanks to the McCaughey
septuplets.
4. It's at least a thousand miles from North Pole to nearest
strip club.
3. Next to "race" on the census forms, there's never a box
marked "elf".
2. Hookers who laugh when you take your pants off.
1. Health plan doesn't cover sleigh rash.
MERCURY COMMUNICATIONS GROUP, INC.
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El Segundo, CA
90245
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