She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
He: Do you have the energy?
What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?
Hey babe, Wanna get LUCKY!!!!!!
"Say mother! Want another?" (if she has children)
Suck my dick or I'll blow your fucking head off. [requires a gun]
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
Will you marry me and have my children? [unfortunate side-effects: beware!]
If you ever want to see your children again, you'll do what I want.
You're hitchhiking across the Mojave Desert? Alone?
I'm really sorry about Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look ravishing
in black, did you know that? What you need now is a nice backrub.
Are the straps too tight, darling? How tragic. How very, very tragic.
Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
Bond. James Bond.
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
It's absolutely pure Bolivian. And I don't *give* it away.
Nothing I can say will ease of the loss of your daughter, but rest
assured that the Morgenstern Funeral Home will do everything possible
to bring you peace of mind in this harrowing time.
Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me
to pick you up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress.
You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone
beat me to it.
Excuse me, do you live around here often?
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab
Would you like to see a baby picture of me?
(Shows the girl the picture of a baby better endowed that most men.)
Hello, Love, - Do you spit or swallow?
You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book...
So what's one more??
Hey babe -- did you know I'm on the Harvard Mailing List?
Your place, or mine?
What's your sign?
Nice shoes. Wanna f*ck?
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
Excuse me, do you wanna spoon or should I apologize?
You have the ass of a great artist.
FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS:
1: MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE IN THE FRONT OF THE PERSON WHO YOU'RE TRYING
2: PUT YOUR HANDS IN A VERTICAL PLANE AND SEPERATE YOUR HANDS TO THE PROPER
DISTANCE YOU WANT TO GET ACROSS
3: LOOK AT THE PERSON OF YOUR AFFECTIONS AND WITH A SHIT EATING-EAR TO
EAR GRIN SHAKE YOUR HEAD UP AND DOWN AS TO REPLY THAT YOU'RE THIS
There's the old classic from the movie Fletch:
(to girl in towel): Excuse me, could I borrow your towel? My car just
hit a water buffalo.
Your face or Mine??
Her: What do you think of this (dress, sweater, article of clothing)?
Him: I like nothing better.
The best pickup line I witnessed was a friend of mine who walked up to
a young lady in a club and asked "Are you ready to go home now?". They left
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
That's a nice dress - could I talk you out of it?
If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold _IT_ against me?
When asked for a match:
How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
Take off that dress and fuck my brains out you cave newt.
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
Let's take a shower together --you smell.
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade
Kiss me you fool, fuck me you harlot.
I've got an itch, honey. Lower. lower. in. out.
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
I want to thank you for [insert any event here], Grab your ankles bitch!
Wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I try to guess
If you want me, don't shake me, or wake me, just take me.
Want to see my stamp collection?
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
I'd look good on you.
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you
At the dinner table, (if you eat together) pickup the bread and say,
Excuse me, have I fu**ed you yet?
I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something else.
Ever tried those wierd prickly condoms?" (sure to get responses)
Funny you should mention that, I was a gynecologist once.
Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
Ya' know, that outfit would look great on my bedroom floor.....
"Actually, Ma'am, Ah'm not as tall as you think. Ah'm from Taixus, and Ah'm
sittin' on mah wallet."
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
I would kill or die to make love to you.
I would die happy if I saw you naked just once.
I am writing a new algorithm, and I need some test data. What are your
I have some hard code I want to try your compiler on.
Top Ten Elf Pickup Lines
10. "I'm down here"
9. "Just because I've got bells on my shoes doesn't mean I'm a sissy"
8. "I was once a lawn ornament for John Bon Jovi"
7. "I can get you off the naughty list"
6. "I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys"
5. "I'm a magical being. Take off your bra."
4. "No, no. I don't bake cookies. You're thinking of those dorks over
3. "I get a thimbleful of tequila in me and I turn into a wild man"
2. "You'd look great in a Raggedy Ann wig"
1. "I can eat my weight in cocktail wieners"
-- Late Night with David Letterman, from Michael Wertheim
Sometimes it can be helpful to start with a complement. eg. after
"accidently" bumping her boobs, noticing a loose button, etc. say
"If they weren't sooo large it wouldn't have happened"
Sex is a killer ... so die happy!
I love every bone in your body - especially mine
"Hey... somebody farted. Let's get out of here."
"Say, Didn't we go to different high schools at the same time?"
The most common pick-up line used in a gay bar:
"May I push in your stool?"
I have only three months to live (heard it in a movie ...
of course, this was all before AIDS)
Chicks dig me; I wear colored underwear.
Excuse me, is it true that you're a sexual tyrannosaurus?
I'm a copilot for American Airlines.
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.