Related:

• Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (several mispellings of diarrhea crossed out) the shits.
• Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
• EXCUSES ACTUALLY RECEIVED BY SCHOOLS VIA NOTES FROM HOME (This was posted at work.
  I do not know the author/editor. Sorry) * Dear school...
• Please excuse Mary for being absent," wrote another parent. "She was sick and I had her shot.
• Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
• Pleazse excuse Roland from P.E. for a few day. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
• John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
• Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work.
  His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it....