Related:

• EXCUSES ACTUALLY RECEIVED BY SCHOOLS VIA NOTES FROM HOME (This was posted at work.
  I do not know the author/editor. Sorry) * Dear school...
• Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
• Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (several mispellings of diarrhea crossed out) the shits.
• Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
• Please excuse Burma, she had been sick and under the doctor.
• Von Neumann and Nobert Weiner were both the subject of many dotty professor stories.
  Von Neumann supposedly had the habit of simply writing answers to homework assignments on the board (the method of solution being, of course, obvious) when he was asked how to solve problems....
• Von Neumann and Norbert Wiener were both the subject of many dotty professor stories.
  Von Neumann supposedly had the habit of simply writing answers to homework assignments on the board (the method of solution being, of course, obvious) when he was asked how to solve problems....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....