Related:

• Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
• EXCUSES ACTUALLY RECEIVED BY SCHOOLS VIA NOTES FROM HOME (This was posted at work.
  I do not know the author/editor. Sorry) * Dear school...
• Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
• Please excuse Mary for being absent," wrote another parent. "She was sick and I had her shot.
• Pleazse excuse Roland from P.E. for a few day. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
• Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
• Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.
  He was hurt in the growing part....
• From: neighorn@qiclab.UUCP (Steve Neighorn) Subjec
  Thank Heavens for Schools Date: 14 Jun 88 21:03:42 GMT [Yet another compendium] And who says our educational system is in dire straits?...