You have reached the offices of the planet Zarton. All our agents are busy undermining the governments of the Earth and cannot come to phone at the moment. However, your name and number can be left at the tone and a representative will gladly contact you shortly to arrange for your assimilation into the new order. Long groblint the ultimate blenstron.
Related:
- You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System.
Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded... - The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages
"Hi!
I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your... - US Army Official Voice Mail Message
Thank you for calling the United States Army.
I'm sorry, but all of our units are out at the moment... - click) "You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System.
Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded... - Thanks for calling Dial-An-Asshole. Right now, all our assholes
are busy.
After the tone, leave your name and number, and we'll... - GETTING RID OF TELEMARKETERS...
** If they want to loan you money,
tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could... - One voice: I didn't expect an answering machine.
Another voice:
Nobody expects an answrering machine. Our... - Letter to the Bank Manager
Dear Bank Manager,
I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.
By my calculations some three nanoseconds must have... - Hi, you have reached .... Please leave your name,
phone number and a message and if we like it we will...
From the same category:
- Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck,
so I'm stuck taking her calls. Say, if you want anything... - This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System.
This is only a test... - Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.
Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message... - You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System.
Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded... - No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but that! Not the beep! No!
Please! Not the beep! Anything but the beep! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE...
