One Voice: I Didn't Expect An Answering Machine. Another Voice

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One voice: I didn't expect an answering machine.
Another voice: Nobody expects an answrering machine.
Our chief use is to get your name. And phone number.
Our two chief uses are to get your name and phone number. And
message. (damn)
Our three uses are to get your name, phone number, and
message. And time you called.
Oh, damn, we'll have to start over. No--no time for that, so
just wait for the beep.
(in an Italian mafia-style tone:)
"Hello. I can't come to the phone right now. Me and Guido are trying to
stuff a body in the trunk. I think we're going to have to size it a
little... <aside> HEY GUIDO! GET THE CHAINSAW! Anyways, leave your name
and a message. If I like it, you'll hear from me. If not, _you'll_hear_
from_Guido! ( a little laughter )... "