New Priest

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor
replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a
glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I
take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the
beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded
to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the
following note on his door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2)There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3)There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5)Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7)The Father, Son, snd Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior,
and Spook.

8)David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9)When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he
was stoned off his ass.

10)We do not refer to the cross as the big T!

11)When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and
eat it, for it is my body", he did not say ,"Eat me."

12)The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the "Mary with the cherry."

13)The reccomended grace before a mealis not:"Rub-Adub-dub, thanks for
the grub, yeah God."

14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peter's, not a
peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Bilal on April 05, 2006 at 08:51

sasasas on November 11, 2006 at 01:43

-u-z-m-a-h- on December 25, 2006 at 01:40

Muslims are gay on March 25, 2007 at 07:13

2 DA PERSON ABOVE ME on March 30, 2007 at 06:25

i am not telling you on April 20, 2007 at 12:01

NON MUSLIMS SUK DIK on June 10, 2007 at 05:19

proud2bmuslim on June 10, 2007 at 05:21

mike on February 13, 2009 at 08:27