Wiggum: I'd like to help you ma'am, but, heh heh, I'm afraid there's no
law against mailing threatening letters.
Marge: [indignantly] I'm pretty sure there is.
Wiggum: Hah! The day I take cop lessons from Ma Kettle --
Lou: Hey, she's right, Chief. [shows him "Springfield Law"]
Wiggum: Well, shut my mouth. It's _also_ illegal to put squirrels down
your pants for the purposes of gambling.
[Shot of Eddie the cop with squirrels running around in his
pants, and a bunch of cops watching and laughing]
Boys, knock it off!
-- The perks of being a man in blue, "Cape Feare"
law against mailing threatening letters.
Marge: [indignantly] I'm pretty sure there is.
Wiggum: Hah! The day I take cop lessons from Ma Kettle --
Lou: Hey, she's right, Chief. [shows him "Springfield Law"]
Wiggum: Well, shut my mouth. It's _also_ illegal to put squirrels down
your pants for the purposes of gambling.
[Shot of Eddie the cop with squirrels running around in his
pants, and a bunch of cops watching and laughing]
Boys, knock it off!
-- The perks of being a man in blue, "Cape Feare"
Related:
- Lou: Here's your man, chief.
Wiggum: Cecil? I think not.
This looks like the work of crazy old Sideshow Bob... - Lisa: My name is Lisa Simpson and I made a chart of all the suspects
in the Burns case.
Look! [holds up a card] Mr. Burns hurt all... - Selma: Mr. Burns has been shot.
Wiggum: Just a minute!
This isn't Mr. Burns at all! It's a mask! ... - Wiggum: A-ha! I had a feeling we'd find you here!
[shoots]
Lou:
Chief, no! Eddie: What'd you do that for? Wiggum:... - Wiggum: All right, get in there.
Lou: You're going _down_.
Eddie: I want a piece of him. Wiggum: You think you're... - Bart: Take him away, boys.
Wiggum: Hey, I'm the chief here!
Bake him away, toys. Lou: What'd you say, chief... - Wiggum: [miffed] Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me "Chief
Piggum!"
[everyone laughs]
Heh,
now I get it. That's good. -- Guess you _didn't_... - Wiggum: Find anything this time, boys?
Cop: Uh, no sign of him,
Chief. Wiggum: Princess Opal? Opal: I see nothing... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it...
From the same category:
- Lisa: I can't believe that extra-thick layer of pollution that I've
actually picketed against burned up the comet.
Bart: But what's really amazing, is that this is _exactly_... - Homer: I'd like to file for... divorce.
Clerk: These things happen.
Eight dollars. -- I wonder when she lost her passion... - You'll be okay, Dad. Just make sure he hits you an _even_ number of
times,
so you don't end up with amnesia. -- Bart tips his... - Bart: The Flanders are a bunch of geeks, man.
Homer:
The Flandereses are not geeks! -- OK, Rod and Todd... - Ruth: I give up. A single mother can't win in a man's world.
Marge: Ruth, that's a lot of hooey. It's not over...
