Related:

• On the episode where Bart and Lisa are writing scripts for Itchy & Scratchy, Grandpa is their ghost writer.
  When asked if he ever wondered why he was getting checks in the mail, Grandpa answered," I just thought the Democrats were back in office....
• Bart: Oh, hey! That's Mom. She's happy again! [runs to the yard] [perturbed] You guys made a snowman family?
  Homer: Check it out, boy: it's like looking into a living snow mirror....
• Lisa: Uh, maybe I need to talk to somebody with a little more age and wisdom.
  Abe: Death stalks you at every turn! Lisa: Grampa!...
• When I bought some new glasses a few months ago, the lady kept on saying how great the lenses were that I was getting.
  She kept on saying, ``You can shoot a bullet right through them....
• Marge: Homer, just where were you planning to keep this horse?
  Homer: I got it all figured out. By day, it'll roam free around the neighborhood, and at night, it'll nestle snugly between the cars in our garage....
• Abe: And then, a knife flew at my head. And [points to Homer] you were there, and [points to Homer] &l
  you> were there... Lisa: Uh, Grampa, maybe I should moisten your washcloth....
• I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers; what I said was all saloonkeepers were Democrats.
• Bart: Lisa...look what I've got. Ta da! [shows BG album] Lisa
  [gasps] Bart, I can't believe it! But why? Bart: When I said my stomach hurt, you were the only one who believed me....
• Lisa: Hi, Mom. Marge: Lisa! Hello. How are you doing in England?
  Remember, an elevator is called a "lift", a mile is called a "kilometer", and botulism is called "steak and kidney pie"....