Bart: Chief Wiggum, Think You Have Room In Your Jail For A Two-time Loser?
Bart: Chief Wiggum, think you have room in your jail for a two-time
Wiggum: Well, no, frankly. But that never stopped us before.
-- Sideshow Bob, foiled again,
"The Return of Sideshow Bob"
Sideshow Bob: Bart, I must know. How did you untangle my web?
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, Bart, pull us in! Bart: Well, I'd hate to tell the number one cop in town how to do his job....
Wiggum: [miffed] Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me "Chief Piggum!
[everyone laughs] Heh, now I get it....
Lou: Here's your man, chief. Wiggum: Cecil? I think not.
This looks like the work of crazy old Sideshow Bob....
Bob: And now [draws his sword] the final curtain...
[walks towards Bart] [The boat hits a rock and Bob is sent flying] [Chief Wiggum and other policemen are on shore in their bathrobes] Wiggum...
Wiggum: Hey, where is Sideshow Bob and that guy who, uh, eats people and takes their faces?
Prisoner #4: I'm right here, chief! Wiggum: Oh....
Bart: I...should have known you were too smart to fall for that.
Bob: Really? What type of smart? Book smart? Because there are a lot of people who are book smart but it takes a special type of genius to -- Wiggum...
There was one little boy who never lost his mistrust.
Soldier: Ooh, sorry. We don't normally drive these in the Air Force.
Wiggum: [cuffing Bob] Got ya, ha ha, you...TV-hating mutant!...
I just hope people don't think I'm marrying you for your money.
Instead of your... less tangible qualities....