Related:

• Marge: Bart, I asked you to watch your sister [Maggie].
  Bart: I tried to stop her, but she overpowered me! -- A likely story, "Stark Raving Dad...
• Homer: [reading the note] Lisa refuses to play dodgeball because she is sad.
  [end of note] She doesn't look sad. I don't see any tears in her eyes....
• Homer: Lisa, you like homework. Could you fill out this form for me?
  Lisa: Well, all right. If you'll listen to the poem I just wrote....
• o the tune of the Colonel Bogey March] Lisa, her teeth are big and green.
  Lisa, she smells like gasoline. Lisa, da da da Disa....
• Bart: Why would anybody want to touch a girl's butt?
  That's where cooties come from! Lisa: Dad, I don't understand....
• Bart: [on the phone] Yes, Dad, I solemnly swear I will not tell another living soul.
  ... No, not even Millhouse. [hangs up] [intense, but brief, mental struggle] [dials phone] Hello, Millhouse?...
• Lisa: Bart, the entire town is howling for your blood, and before I join them, I have one question.
  Today is my birthday. You promised to get me something and....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Bart: Dad, maybe you should do this. Homer: Son, it's no different than the time I let you vote for me.
  Remember that absentee ballot?...