Man: Homer, This Is Floyd. He's An Idiot Savant.
Man: Homer, this is Floyd. He's an idiot savant. Give him any two
numbers, and he can multiply them in his head, just like that.
Homer: Okay. Five times nine.
-- "Stark Raving Dad"
Bart: Wow, a former president living right across the street.
Homer: Oh, why did he have to move in on _my_ territory?...
Doctor: Mrs. Simpson, I'm sorry, but your husband suffers from a persecution complex, extreme paranoia, and bladder hostility.
Marge: Doctor, if you just talk to him for five minutes without mentioning our son Bart, you'd see how sane he is....
Homer: Lisa, you like homework. Could you fill out this form for me?
Lisa: Well, all right. If you'll listen to the poem I just wrote....
Homer: This isn't fair! How can you tell who's sane and who's insane?
Doctor: Well, we have a very simple method. [stamps his hand, `INSANE'] Whoever has that stamp on his hand is insane....
Burns: Why is that man in pink! Smithers: Oh, that's Homer Simpson, sir.
He's one of your boobs from Sector 7-G. Burns: Simpson, eh? -- "Stark Raving Dad...
Man: Well, have you heard of MTV? Homer: No. Ma
Motown. Homer: No. Man: Beat It. Homer: <You> beat it!...
You'll be okay, Dad. Just make sure he hits you an _even_ number of times, so you don't end up with amnesia.
-- Bart tips his father, "The Homer They Fall...
Homer: [talking in his sleep] pancakes... football.
.. boobies... pork rinds... waffles... Man: [to his stuffed animal] Bubbles, it's going to be a long night....
Homer: Who are you? Man: Hi, I'm Michael Jackson, from The Jacksons.
Homer: I'm Homer Simpson, from The Simpsons... -- Homer meets his cell-mate at the asylum, "Stark Raving Dad" [A little meta-humor for your enjoyment....