Related:

• Bart: But Dad! I've never won anything in my life!
  Homer: Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this....
• Marge: Homer, I couldn't help overhearing you warp Bart's mind.
  Homer: And? -- "Dead Putting Society...
• Homer: Marge, Where's the Duff!?! Marge: Ohh, uh, we're all out, Homer.
  Homer: D'oh! Marge: Would you like some fruit juice?...
• Marge: I'm worried that you're making too big a deal of this silly little kiddie golf tournament.
  Homer: But Marge, but this is our big chance to show up the Flandereses....
• Ned: Oh say, you look like you were having a little trouble there.
  Homer: That shot's impossible! Jack Nicholson himself couldn't make it!...
• Mm. I <was> going to wash my hair...
  -- Marge, after Homer suggests the family go miniature golfing, "Dead Putting Society...
• Ned: {Oh, we're done for, we're done for, we're done diddely done for, we're done diddely doodily, done diddely doodily, done diddely doodily, done diddely doodily --} Home
  {[grabs him and slaps him] Flanders! Snap out of it!...
• Homer: Lousy bragging know-it-all showoff... Marge
  What exactly did he say? Homer: Get this. He said, uh, he said....
• Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this.
  It is not okay to lose. -- Homer Simpson Dead Putting Society...