Homer: Larry, There's Only One Sure Way To Make Him Realize How Much He Loves You.

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Homer: Larry, there's only one sure way to make him realize how much he
loves you. And that is a phony kidnapping.
Larry: Yeah, right. I don't know. Maybe I should just leave town.
Homer: [singing persuasively] Phony kidnapping...
Larry: Nah... I know what I gotta do. I gotta clean up my act. No more
joking around all the time. No more slacking off at work. And
most important, no more booze! [throws down glass of alcohol] I
know I can do it.
Burns: [reading a letter] "Your son has been kidnapped."
-- Well, almost, "Burns, Baby Burns"