Ned: Well, If God Didn't Make Little Green Apples, It's Homer Simpson!

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Ned: Well, if God didn't make little green apples, it's Homer Simpson!
How long have you been here?
Homer: Twenty of the suckiest minutes of my life.
Ned: Ho ho ho, suckin' down the cider, uh? Hey, word to the wise --
[shows Homer a card] season pass! It pays for itself after the
sixteenth visit. You know, most people don't know the difference
between apple cider and apple juice, but I do. Now here's a
little trick to help you remember. If it's clear and yella',
you've got juice there, fella! If it's tangy and brown, you're
in cider town. Now, there's two exceptions and it gets kinda
tricky here...
[Homer's brain gets bored]
Brain: [moans] You can stay, but I'm leaving.
[brain floats away; Homer is now staring blankly]
Ned: ... can be yellow, if they're using late season apples. And, of
course, in Canada, the whole thing's flip-flopped.
[Homer collapses]
Ned: Oh, my! I'd better get you some cider.
-- Old-cider Ned, "Burns, Baby Burns"