Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice... like Urkel! And he
appears every Friday night... like Urkel!
Wiggum: Well, your story is _very_ compelling, Mr. Jackass, I mean, uh,
Simpson. So, I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
[Wiggum raises his arms and starts typing on air in sarcasm]
[starts humming]
Homer: You don't have to humiliate me.
[Homer walks off, and another man walks in, wearing slightly
burned clothes and playing compulsively with a lighter]
Man: I just torched a building downtown, and I'm afraid I'll do it
again!
Wiggum: Oh, yeah, right. I'll just type it up on my invisible
typewriter!
[goes through the same sarcastic routine]
Fruitcake!
-- Why _do_ you wear that badge,
anyway? "The Springfield Files"
appears every Friday night... like Urkel!
Wiggum: Well, your story is _very_ compelling, Mr. Jackass, I mean, uh,
Simpson. So, I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!
[Wiggum raises his arms and starts typing on air in sarcasm]
[starts humming]
Homer: You don't have to humiliate me.
[Homer walks off, and another man walks in, wearing slightly
burned clothes and playing compulsively with a lighter]
Man: I just torched a building downtown, and I'm afraid I'll do it
again!
Wiggum: Oh, yeah, right. I'll just type it up on my invisible
typewriter!
[goes through the same sarcastic routine]
Fruitcake!
-- Why _do_ you wear that badge,
anyway? "The Springfield Files"
Related:
- Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I
call it.
Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about,... - Bart: Mr. Burns, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I want to
go home to my family.
Burns: [sighs] I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell... - Banner: Well, what are you waiting for? Somebody to kiss you
goodbye?
Wiggum: Well... no, no, no... I guess not. -- Can... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish. Caresses it, experience it... - Malloy: And little Lisa: here's your saxophone.
Lisa:
Thank you. And thank you, Dad. You got it back -... - Wiggum: Son, you wait here while Daddy tries to talk some sense into
this raving derelict.
[the man raves as Wiggum walks up] Wiggum: [motioning]... - Homer: Listen here: my name is Homer J. Simpson. You guys think
I'm dead,
but I'm not. Now I want you to straighten this ... - Wiggum: All right, you scrawny beanpoles: becoming a cop is _not_
something that happens overnight.
It takes one solid weekend of training to get... - Friday: Freeze. FBI: the jig is up.
Abe: All right,
I admit it: I am the Lindbergh baby. Waah! Waah!...
