Homer: Aw, being a clown sucks. You get kicked by kids, bit by dogs,
and admired by the elderly. Who am I clowning? I have no
business being a clown! I've leaving the clowning business to
all the other clowns in the clowning business.
[a siren sounds behind him]
Aw, no.
Wiggum: [getting out of his car] Well, well, well, Velocity Boy, I'm
going to give you the biggest ticket you -- hey! Krusty!
Homer: I'm not Krusty.
Wiggum: Oh, to think I was going to give _you_ a ticket. Krusty the
Klown.
Homer: [annoyed] I am _not_ Krusty!
Wiggum: Hey Krusty, Krusty, remember the time we got loaded and set
those beavers loose in that pine furniture store? [laughs] Ah,
memories. [rips ticket up] All right, you take it easy, Krusty.
[drives off]
Homer: Hey, he didn't give me a ticket! This is an intriguing
development...
-- Intriguing, indeed, "Homer the Clown"
and admired by the elderly. Who am I clowning? I have no
business being a clown! I've leaving the clowning business to
all the other clowns in the clowning business.
[a siren sounds behind him]
Aw, no.
Wiggum: [getting out of his car] Well, well, well, Velocity Boy, I'm
going to give you the biggest ticket you -- hey! Krusty!
Homer: I'm not Krusty.
Wiggum: Oh, to think I was going to give _you_ a ticket. Krusty the
Klown.
Homer: [annoyed] I am _not_ Krusty!
Wiggum: Hey Krusty, Krusty, remember the time we got loaded and set
those beavers loose in that pine furniture store? [laughs] Ah,
memories. [rips ticket up] All right, you take it easy, Krusty.
[drives off]
Homer: Hey, he didn't give me a ticket! This is an intriguing
development...
-- Intriguing, indeed, "Homer the Clown"
Related:
- Aw, being a clown sucks. You get kicked by kids, bit by dogs, and
admired by the elderly.
Who am I clowning? I have no business being a clown!... - Tony: OK, wherever Krusty's gone, we'll find him. Legs, you check
out the East Side.
Louie, Rome and Budapest. Tell the boys I want a total world search.... - Vittorio: The fact that you did not do the trick well is the biggest
insult of all -- [cocks gun]
Krusty
[bursting in] Hey guys, I came to -- oh, you've got a deadly game of cat and mouse going.... - Ned: Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily.
They did their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily.... - Tony: I am afraid the time has come for you to pay us.
Krusty: Look, I'm cleaned out. Just take the Clown College.... - Homer: I'm telling you Marge, this will work. They'll think I'm
Krusty and give us free stuff.
I've been getting free stuff all day! Look at this swell bucket of house paint.... - Krusty: Welcome to the noble family of skilled Krustaceans.
You will now go back to your home towns and do kids' parties, swap meets, and all the other piddling crap I wouldn't touch with a ten foot clown pole.... - Vittorio: I am so glad I had a chance to meet you before we did this,
Krusty, because I am a great fan.
[holds out hand] Don Vittorio DiMaggio.... - Krusty: Ah, there's nothing better than a cigarette.
..unless it's a cigarette lit with a $100 bill!...
