Krusty: Ah, There's Nothing Better Than A Cigarette.

HomeFortune CookiesThe Simpsons

Krusty: Ah, there's nothing better than a cigarette...unless it's a
cigarette lit with a $100 bill!
[tosses a burning $100 bill away]
[hands bundles of cash to his aides] Put five thousand bucks on
the Lakers. Hire Kenny G to play for me in the elevator. My
house is dirty; buy me a clean one.
[walks into his office, closes the door]
Bill: Krusty, as your accountant, I must warn you your spending --
Krusty: Did you send those thousand roses to Bea Arthur's grave?
Bill: [exasperated] Yes, but she's still --
Krusty: I don't want to hear the end of any sentences!
Woman: [over intercom] George Carlin on three.
Krusty: [answers it] Yeah?...Lawsuit? Oh, come on. My "Seven Words You
Can't Say on TV" bit was _entirely_ different from _your_ "Seven
Words You Can't Say on TV" bit. ...So I'm a thief, am I? Well,
excuuuse me! [to his accountant] Give him ten grand.
Woman: Steve Martin on four.
Krusty: Ten grand.
-- Krusty learns the value of paying people off,
"Homer the Clown"

Related: