Abe: And for the minimal outlay of one dollar, you can take home a
bottle of liquid Lothario, distilled Don Juan, catalytically-
carbonated Cassanova. Lock old Rover in the shed, 'cause man has
a new best friend in Simpson & Son's revitalizing tonic.
Man: I'm not convinced! I've had bad luck with aphrodisiacs.
Abe: All question will be answered, all fears will be allayed, with
one incontrovertible demonstration. May I have a volunteer from
the audience? [points to Homer] Yes, _you_ sir.
Now, sir, you've never seen me before, is that correct?
Homer: [wooden] That is correct.
Man: Well then how come his face is on the bottle?
Homer: [pause] Um...
Abe: [pause] Um...
-- Salesmen stumpers, "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"
bottle of liquid Lothario, distilled Don Juan, catalytically-
carbonated Cassanova. Lock old Rover in the shed, 'cause man has
a new best friend in Simpson & Son's revitalizing tonic.
Man: I'm not convinced! I've had bad luck with aphrodisiacs.
Abe: All question will be answered, all fears will be allayed, with
one incontrovertible demonstration. May I have a volunteer from
the audience? [points to Homer] Yes, _you_ sir.
Now, sir, you've never seen me before, is that correct?
Homer: [wooden] That is correct.
Man: Well then how come his face is on the bottle?
Homer: [pause] Um...
Abe: [pause] Um...
-- Salesmen stumpers, "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"
Related:
- Homer: Sir! Uh, hello sir! Yes, you look like a man who needs help
satisfying his wife.
So -- [man slugs him in the face] Ow... - Homer: Dad, how come you never gave me any encouragement?
Maybe I could have been something more than... - Homer: Dad!
Abe: Son!
Homer: I'm a screw-up. I burned down our house.
Abe: No, I'm a screw-up. _I_ burned down our house... - Abe: Welcome home, Son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail.
[Marge walks away] What's wrong with your wife? Homer... - Abe: Why are you people avoiding me? Does my withered face remind
you of the grim specter of Death?
Homer: [pause] Yes, but there's more. [sits down on... - the doorbell rings]
Bart: [gasps] Quick, Grandma,
hide! [Marge closes the curtains] ... - Abe: [points to old TV] There she is, the old Radiation King.
You'd park yourself right there and watch for hours... - Abe: And just feast your ears on this tantalizing testimonial from my
own flesh and blood,
the son that puts the fun in Simpson & Son, ... - Homer: You're home safe. Done my duty. See you the next time we need
your signature.
Abe: Aw, you never want to spend any time with me....
