Homer: Dad, how come you never gave me any encouragement? Maybe I could
have been something more than I am. Like a travel agent, to a
great scientist, or the inventor of a hilarious refrigerator
alarm.
Abe: Who are you to complain? You locked me up in a home and give me
the same damn shower safety seat every Christmas.
[in the car]
Homer: Your whole life you never said one nice thing to me.
Abe: That's 'cause you're a screw-up.
Homer: _You're_ the screw-up!
Abe: Why you little -- [strangles Homer]
Homer: All right, all right. That's it: we're going home! I'm sick of
you and your stupid tonic.
Abe: If I hadn't taken that stupid tonic 38 years ago, you'd have
never been born and I'd have been happy. You were an accident!
Homer: [gasps, stops car] Get out.
Abe: I'm sorry I said that.
Homer: Out.
Abe: I'm going to get out of the car, and I hope you'll find it in
your heart not to drive away -- [Homer skids off]
Well, I'll be all right as long as I can remember my army
training.
[that night, Abe still stands there] Dang.
-- The painful truth comes out,
"Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"
have been something more than I am. Like a travel agent, to a
great scientist, or the inventor of a hilarious refrigerator
alarm.
Abe: Who are you to complain? You locked me up in a home and give me
the same damn shower safety seat every Christmas.
[in the car]
Homer: Your whole life you never said one nice thing to me.
Abe: That's 'cause you're a screw-up.
Homer: _You're_ the screw-up!
Abe: Why you little -- [strangles Homer]
Homer: All right, all right. That's it: we're going home! I'm sick of
you and your stupid tonic.
Abe: If I hadn't taken that stupid tonic 38 years ago, you'd have
never been born and I'd have been happy. You were an accident!
Homer: [gasps, stops car] Get out.
Abe: I'm sorry I said that.
Homer: Out.
Abe: I'm going to get out of the car, and I hope you'll find it in
your heart not to drive away -- [Homer skids off]
Well, I'll be all right as long as I can remember my army
training.
[that night, Abe still stands there] Dang.
-- The painful truth comes out,
"Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"
Related:
- Homer: Dad!
Abe: Son!
Homer: I'm a screw-up. I burned down our house.
Abe: No, I'm a screw-up. _I_ burned down our house.... - Abe: Welcome home, Son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail.
[Marge walks away] What's wrong with your wife?... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?... - Abe: And for the minimal outlay of one dollar, you can take home a
bottle of liquid Lothario, distilled Don Juan, catalytically-
carbonated Cassanova.
Lock old Rover in the shed, 'cause man has a new best friend in Simpson & Son's revitalizing tonic.... - Marge: Homey, this is so sweet, but I can't possibly go now.
The sink is full of dirty dishes, the trash needs to be taken out, the living room is a mess -- Home... - Abe: [points to old TV] There she is, the old Radiation King.
You'd park yourself right there and watch for hours on end.... - he doorbell rings]
Bart: [gasps] Quick, Grandma, hide!
[Marge closes the curtains] [someone pounds on the door, then manages to open it] Abe... - Abe: Hey, wait a minute! That's Amos Pearson's moose farm.
Make a right here. [Homer does so... - Malloy: Homer, old chap, well done. If anyone was going to catch me,
I'm glad it was you.
Homer: Actually, it wasn't me, it was my dad, Grampa....
