Abe: Welcome home, Son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail.

Abe: Welcome home, Son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail.
[Marge walks away] What's wrong with your wife?
Homer: Never mind, you wouldn't understand.
Abe: Flu?
Homer: No.
Abe: Protein deficiency?
Homer: No.
Abe: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?
Homer: No.
Abe: Unsatisfying sex life?
Homer: N -- yes! But please, don't _you_ say that word!
Abe: What, seeeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly
father talk about sex? I had seeex.
Homer: [groans]
-- Once, "Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"

Homer: Dad! Abe: Son! Homer: I'm a screw-up. I burned down our house.
Abe: No, I'm a screw-up. _I_ burned down our house...
Homer: Dad, how come you never gave me any encouragement?
Maybe I could have been something more than...
the doorbell rings] Bart: [gasps] Quick, Grandma,
hide! [Marge closes the curtains] ...
Abe: And for the minimal outlay of one dollar, you can take home a bottle of liquid Lothario,
distilled Don Juan, catalytically- carbonated...
Abe: Hurry up! We've got a lot of tonic to sell and a lot of towns to visit:
Frigid Falls, Mount Seldom, Lake Flaccid... Homer:...
Homer: Sir! Uh, hello sir! Yes, you look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife.
So -- [man slugs him in the face] Ow...
Homer: You're home safe. Done my duty. See you the next time we need your signature.
Abe: Aw, you never want to spend any time with me....
Abe: [points to old TV] There she is, the old Radiation King.
You'd park yourself right there and watch for hours...
Abe: That's my son up there! Man: What, the balding fat-ass?
Abe: Uh, no, the...Hindu guy. -- Abe thinks under...

Abe: Welcome home, Son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail.

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