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• Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep." -- Fran Lebowitz
• Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
  -- Fran Lebowitz...
• Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
  -- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studie...
• Pro: Children ask better questions than do adults. "May I have a cookie?
  "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?...
• If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
  -- Fran Lebowitz, "Metropolitan Life...
• I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use.
  Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake....
• All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
  -- Fran Lebowitz, "Metropolitan Life...
• Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
  -- Fran Lebowitz...
• I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. -- Fran Lebowitz