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• Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
  -- Fran Lebowitz...
• Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. -- Fran Lebowitz
• Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep." -- Fran Lebowitz
• Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine.
  You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star....
• Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
  -- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studie...
• It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative.
  For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars....
• A Teenager is someone who gets excited when they discover that the phone call was for them, but this stage of life doesn't last very long.
• If you're going to America, bring your own food. -- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studie
• Educational television should be absolutely forbidden.
  It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens....