Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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Whenever I try to get in touch with myself, I always get the answering machine.
Whenever I use Elvis stamps, I have my hound dog lick them.
Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again. -- Susan Healy
Whenever I was upset by something in the papers, [Jack] always told me to be more tolerant, like a horse flicking away flies in the summer.
-- Jacqueline Kennedy...
Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap, nature immediately comes up with a better mouse.
-- James Carswell...
Whenever one finds oneself inclined to bitterness, it is a sign of emotional failure.
-- Bertrand Russell...
Whenever one word or letter can change the entire meaning of a sentence, the probability of an error being made will be in direct proportion to the embarrassment it will cause.
-- Bob Considine...
Whenever people say we mustn't be sentimental, you can take it they are about to do something cruel.
And, if they add, we must be realistic, they mean they are going to make money out of it....
Whenever possible, avoid airlines which have anyone's first name in their titles, like Bob's International Airline or Air Fred.
-- "Miss Piggy...
Whenever possible blame the hardware.

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