Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

Home › Fortune Cookies › Miscellaneous Collections

Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on them [public offices], a rottenness begins in his conduct.
-- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), 1799...
Whenever a man seeks your advice he generally seeks your praise. -- Lord Chesterfield
Whenever anybody says he's struggling to become a human being I have to laugh because the apes beat him to it by about a million years.
Struggle to become a parrot or something. -- Jack Handey, "Deep...
Whenever anyone asks me what book I would take with me to a desert island, I reply, "The phone book
with all those characters, I could invent an infinite number of stories. -- Umberto Eco...
Whenever anyone says "I can't," it makes me wish he'd get stung to death by about ten thousand bees.
When he says "I'll try," five thousand bees. ("I can," one bee.) -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Ha...
Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean, "not really". -- Dave Parna
Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
-- Brooke's Law...
Whenever doubt can be called into question, do so.
Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. -- Robert M. Hutchi
Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
-- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)...

< previous

8538