Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

Home › Fortune Cookies › Miscellaneous Collections

I had injured my hamstring playing football and was having difficulty sitting, he said to me "What's the matter - have hormones?
I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology...the study of milkmen. -- Steven Wrigh
I had most need of blessing, and "Amen" Stuck in my throat.
-- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Macbeth -- Act ii, Sc. 2...
I had my car's alignment checked. It's chaotic evil!
I had my coathangers spayed. -- Steven Wrigh
I had my head examined. They didn't find *anything*!
I had not time to lick it into form, as a bear doth her young ones.
-- Robert Burton (1577-1640) -- Anatomy of Melancholy, Democritus to the Reade...
I had pancake makeup for brunch! -- Zippy the Pinhead
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library.
When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. -- Rodney Dangerfield...

< previous

3350