I Had My Coathangers Spayed. -- Steven Wrigh
I had my coathangers spayed.
-- Steven Wright
My cat had puppies, so I spayed the cricket.
I had amnesia once or twice. -- Steven Wrigh
I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology...the study of milkmen. -- Steven Wrigh
I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy. -- Steven Wrigh
When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had slept well.
I said, "No, I made a few mistakes." -- Steven Wrigh...
I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
-- Steven Wrigh...
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. -- Steven Wrigh
My views on evolution? I think Darwin was adopted. -- Steven Wright.
Last night, I came home and realized that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate.
I told this to my friend -- he said, `Do I know you?'" -- Steven Wrigh...