Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal, high enough so you can look up her dress.
-- Steve Marti...
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Marti...
I be nibble, you be quick, he jumped over the Joystick.
I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes!
Hey, better try the emergency brake! -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky.
Just the...
I bet for an Indian, shooting a old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground as she falls over, is like the top thing you can do.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Ja...
I bet it's an illusion. -- Famous Last Word
I bet it's hard to break farmers of the old superstitions like "Tornado got Old Yeller, stay in the cellar.
-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...

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