Related:

• Homer: I can't believe your mother went out to have fun without me.
  Bart: Don't worry. You'll feel better once we put your hair up in curlers and give you a makeover, [slyly] Homina....
• I married beneath me. All women do. -- Lady Nancy Asto
• Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh.
  But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me....
• Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. -- Oscar Wilde
• Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.