Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.
-- H. Allen Smith, "Let the Crabgrass Grow...
On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment -- halftime.
On the eighth day, God created FORTRAN.
On the night before her family moved from Kansas to California, the little girl knelt by her bed to say her prayers.
God bless Mommy and Daddy and Keith and Kim," she said. As she began to get up...
On the road, ZIPPY is a pinhead without a purpose, but never without a POINT.
On the road, ZIPPY is a pinhead without a purpose, but never without a POINT.
On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. -- W.C. Fields' epitaph
On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament!
], "Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?...
Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.
-- W.C. Fields, "My Little Chickadee...
Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.
-- Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)...

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