How many bassists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Related:

• How many bassists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None. The keyboardist does it with his left hand...
• How many bassists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Just one, but the guitarist has to show him...
• How many atheists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None. Atheists question whether it's really light anyway...
• How many atheists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None. Atheists never "see the light" anyway do they...
• How many fatalists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Sod it, we're all gonna die anyway...
• How many pessimists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None. Why bother? It's just going to burn out anyway...
• How many bassists -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Five-one to do it and four to beat back all the guitarists...
• How many Iraqis -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity...
• How many Solamnic Knights -- does it take to change a light light bulb?
  It doesn't matter. They can't see over the glare of...