Related:

• I drink because she nags, he said I nag because he drinks.
  But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew. -- Ogden Nash...
• I have a few good reasons for drinking And one has just entered my head If a man can't drink when he's living How the hell can he drink when he's dead?
• Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
  Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone....
• He: Do you like Kipling? She: Oh, you naughty boy, I don't know! I've never kippled!
• He: "If I made love to you, would you yell?" She: "What do you want me to yell?" -- Benny Hill
• My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
  -- Stephen Wrigh...
• My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
  -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink.
  That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for. -- W. C. Field...